Dare to love

Abdulrahman’s loss gives me a sorrowful blow. Knowing that I will not see him again sometimes leaves me with awkward feelings. This reminds me again to what my boss and colleagues told me: “Don’t be too close to them. It will be hard for you if they must leave you later.” This I have considered before and I decided to still love and maintain a close relationship with them (the patients) even if it means that I would have to bear the possibility of heartache. After the anguish of losing Abdulrahman, again I am reconsidering my decision and I ask myself whether I have taken a wrong decision.

There were times when I would avoid entering the rooms of the patients whom I loved dearly, or when I would decline their request to be pampered—all these were just a shield whereby I hoped to avoid getting hurt. By the way, doctors said that their rate of survival was just 50%.

All these make me think about the consequences of loving (not only between couples, but also friends and neighbours). Does opening our hearts to someone or to a relationship mean creating a potential for ourselves to be disappointed and hurt? If the answer is yes, does that make us evade loving others? It should not, for the joy and blessings we receive from the acts of loving are far greater than all those.

Moments spent with them when they are still living will not be regretted, but will become beautiful memories. I cannot imagine how that would be a loss for me were I to miss those opportunities and close my heart from them.

In our relationship with others we often experience the same struggles—fear of being rejected, fear of heartbreak make us conceal ourselves from others. How wonderful it is if these struggles could make us more perfect in love and learn to love as God wants, and not instead aggravate our fears.

O Lord, teach me to love, as You have first loved me. Teach me to love with a right understanding and an ever sanctified emotion, for how weak and fragile my love is as a sinner.

John 15
9″As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. 10If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father’s commands and remain in his love. 11I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. 12My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. 13Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. 14You are my friends if you do what I command. 15I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. 16You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit—fruit that will last. Then the Father will give you whatever you ask in my name. 17This is my command: Love each other.

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