He who seeks finds

When I woke up and saw the wonderful weather yesterday morning, I quickly changed my clothes, took my Bible and journal, and went to a nearby park (Chinese Garden).

A verse that I meditated upon was “He who seeks finds” (Matt 7:8).

I remembered those moments when I was searching for things that were missing. In my heart there was a desire to find that which was missing. It is the same with the experience of seeking after God’s countenance. The desire surely is in every heart that seeks after Him, but more than that, there is a faith that I will find Him, because He who promised is faithful. Honestly, I often find it difficult to find God in my daily life. Even in my prayers, I still struggle. This reminds me of what Kierkegaard says, “Whoever says he sought the stillness but could not find it, is an envious deceiver who would disturb others. For otherwise he would be silent and grieve over it, or he would say: I did not seek it aright, and therefore I did not find it.” There are several things which I regard as hindrances to seek after God’s countenance:

1. A poor prayer life
“Prayer is the pulse of life. By this pulse we can tell what is the condition of the heart. The sin of prayerlessness is a proof that the life of God in the soul is in deadly weakness and sickness” (Andrew Murray).

2. Distractions from other people and the environment
These distractions are not always avoidable since we live in a community. But actually we can prevent these ‘distractions’ from disturbing us.

I am a person who is easily influenced by others and the situation around me. In those situations I would sing the song “Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus” and ask God once again to help me put everything in my heart into their right positions.

3. An unconfessed sin
Confessions often uttered in a general manner, such as: “Lord, forgive my sins which I did today.” Sometimes I just don’t want to be bothered about it. To think upon my sins one by one is time consuming and leaves me weary, I often think. Deep in my heart, actually I don’t like to face my failures and ugliness. But this attitude can cause God’s children to see His grace cheaply and thus not seek His forgiveness earnestly.

4. Being far from the fellowship with our brothers and sisters
Often God speaks through our brothers and sisters. To be in the family of Christ has great impact for our spiritual life as an individual. In this community, we can see others’ struggles, too, so we will not dwell in our own struggles, which bring self-pity.

In fellowship we also learn to be honest at each of our weaknesses and learn to fight together to be more like Christ. This is the fellowship of sinners, beloved sinners.

“My heart says of you, ‘Seek his face!’ Your face, Lord, I will seek” (Psalm 27:8).


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